Who even invented DIVORCE?!
Seriously! I hate divorce, I hate that "D" word more than anything.
(says the selfish eldest daughter.)
This might be the hardest blog post I've ever sat down to write, but I feel like as children (or adults rather) many of us GO THROUGH THIS horrible divorce thing. Who am I to not believe in divorce? I've never been married. I've never raised a family, nor do I know what it's like to be with a partner for over 20 somethin' years. All I know is that I took pride in saying, "YEAH, my parents are still together" because it gave me this sense of pride and happiness that I kept close and dear to my heart. Let's cut to the chase. Our parents were married for over twenty something years, raised 5 awesome kids (amen!) and were seriously the best 'effing parents I could have dreamed of (thank you god), but a piece of me broke last year, when they separated and recently divorced. I don't think it will ever be replaced.
Was I mad? YES. Sad? More than anything. Confused? For sure. Heartbroken? At one point. Happy? As long as my parents are happy and healthy, I've learned I will be happy.
Thanks to friends, family, and my man I've learned how to cope with the "D" word at the age of 29. It was one of the hardest struggles my siblings and I have ever endured. I can only imagine what my parents experienced, but I'm talking solely from a childs standpoint, so bare with me. Perhaps, things happen to show you that we are all human and perfection does not exist. Life is a journey and marriage, marriage must be a beautiful, crazy rollercoaster. But love, I got to experience love all of my life because of these two amazing humans and I will forver cherish those memories. [ we love you mom and dad more than anything]
As hard as it is for me to write this, here are 3 ways to help guide your siblings through D I V O R C E:
- It's not about YOU. Divorce has nothing to do with you, your sister or your brother. In these moments we as children become selfish and self centered, don't. You did nothing wrong, and neither did your parents. Realize that divorce is a decision made amongst two sensational humans who have chosen to go a differnt path, and understand that things will change, but YOU will be ok. It's not about you. I know it's hard to understand at first, but love is patient and love is kind. It's not about you.
- Let your siblings vent. Whether they vent through anger, tears, rebellion, stress or silence, we all have to cope through this individually, but we can all come together and keep each other whole. When everything feels like it's tumbling down, you have each other, forever. Let your siblings lean on you, they need you now more than ever. [And please if need be, go see a professional therapist, I am.]
- Life goes on. In our situation, we are all adults now, which is why i actually think it's harder to deal with, but i've finally realized life will go on. We all have our own new budding lives and new families. Mom will always be mom, and dad will always be dad. As long as your parents are healthy and striving towards happiness, remember, life will go on.